the_best_sister | Lighthouse Cottage

Outside on the picket fence of the Lighthouse Cottage, a simple sign was tacked up:

Allen Wrench Party

Come inside and help with IKEA construction.
Free booze!
Free food!
Way too friendly dog!

Inside, the promise was kept. If your idea of food and booze was stacks of pizza boxes and mostly cheap beer and hard liquor.

Yelena had spent most of the week fixing up the place, but the IKEA shipment had only arrived yesterday, so the furniture was still a work in progress. The walls and ceilings were freshly painted white, but the carpet, drapes, and lighting in the two-bedroom cottage were a riot of mismatched colors. It was like someone had thrown a Jackson Pollock painting into a blender with that psychedelic boat trip from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

And right in the middle of this chaotic, colorful mess was Yelena, sitting cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by half-assembled IKEA furniture and discarded instructions. She’d been at it all day, and it showed. She’d given up on any hope of a put-together look, dressed only in a tank top and athletic shorts, her hair a tangled mess falling into her face.

The living room was mostly done, there was a dining room table standing on its own four legs, and one bed was finally put together in the bedroom. But there were still stacks of flat-pack boxes waiting to test her patience. At this point, it was just about survival.

And maybe, bribing people with enough booze to help finish the rest…

[Open to all. Up early because I might have a hectic morning. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Oh, are we not going to be decorating your place in...as many shades of color as Yelena has chosen?" Adrian asked, leaning against the wall and eating a ham-denuded slice of Hawaiian pizza.

"Fuck no," Logan said. He lived with a blind woman for a little bit there and she still didn't get this nuts with it. "I'm good with what came with the place."

Oh, Logan. Logan, that was just sad.

"You ended up with a furnished apartment somewhere?" Adrian asked.

He hadn't even known that was a thing!

"There was a bed and a couch."

Anything else, Logan? Anything else?

"Someone arranged it for me."

"..." You were talking to a man with a porch swing, Logan. He did not understand. "You live in a studio...?"

It was the best he had.

"It's just an apartment. Where do you live?" Oh look at him asking questions! Growing up and being a real boy.

"In my house," he said, proudly. "Found a spot for it the other day."

And had, uh, stayed elsewhere that night, but last night he'd confirmed that it was just as comfy and cozy as he'd carved it to be.

"You built a house in a day?" Magic, Logan. Magic.

"Oh no, that would be ridiculous!" Adrian said, because what he had done was absolutely not ridiculous at all. "I handcrafted a model of a house. Furniture, bedding, everything a house would need. Then I brought it here and turned that into my house."

See? Much more reasonable.

It was not! And he knew people who shot energy beams out of their eyes!

"As a model," he repeated, just dripping with that sarcasm.

"Well, I certainly couldn't have fit a full-sized house in my coat pocket," he said, as if that were the preposterous part of the sentence.

C'mon, Logan! Pym particles! It was like that but magic!

He didn't know who this Pym person was, but he sounded like a crazy person too!

"And you just put it somewhere on the island?" Logan asked. "Is it still that small?"

Because then it'd be hilarious.

"That would make it pretty hard to live in," Adrian pointed out. "I suppose I could shrink myself and my cat every time we went inside, but that feels like a lot of wasted magical effort."

But the hilarity, Adrian!

"Yeah, that magic effort," Logan agreed dryly. Like the expert on the matter with his one trip through a Marvel sparkle circle.

"Magic takes effort, unless your forcing a bunch of enslaved demons to do your bidding or are stuffed to the gills with quintessence and even for that you had to learn a bunch of ancient Sumerian," Adrian scoffed.

ADIRAN, C'MON.

"...right. That."

WHAT THE FUCK.

WHAT? HE WAS JUST EXPLAINING HOW THINGS WERE!

"But my house is very nice!" he said, realizing that this was not very good party etiquette.

WITH DEMONS AND SHIT??

"I'll take your word on it."

OH, LIKE MARVEL DIDN'T HAVE DEMONS.

"Are you saying I'll need to throw an allen wrench party to get you to come over?" he teased.

Yeah, but that was in the movie that bombed and almost didn't even get released! Fox had standards! Terrible standards, but they existed!

"No." This was more than enough social interaction for him!

Man he was gonna be so upset tomorrow.

Adrian didn't say he was going to do it this weekend! Another week!

"Oh, would you prefer a different theme?" Adrian teased. "I've got some intensive gardening planned that I could share."

Adrian. Honey. Wolverine could deck you (or worse) long before you could get a spell off.

It was just some indestructible metal claws comin' at you! No big. Everything would be fine.

"Did she put you up to this?" That she could be either Kitty or Yelena here. Both seem set on making him be a normal human or something.

"You'd be surprised how often I get that," Adrian said. "But no. Just an excuse to introduce you to my house."

Lighthouse Cottage - Friday Evening

Allen Wrench Party

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